Category Archives: Shakedowns

Lawsuit shakedowns

Baby’s First Words: “F–K It” Learned from Doll Parents Plea

When two-year-old little Emily began speaking for the first time, her first words were obscene: “fuck it.” Parents claim she learned the filthy words not from them, but from a crying talking doll they bought from Toys ‘R Us called “My Little Baby Born Nappy Time.”

“Hearing our two year old daughter swearing every day is just awful. I think it’s disgraceful that Toys R Us have sold us such a dirty toy.”

Swearing Doll Toy

Right… hmmm… I see a shakedown pay day ahead.

Man’s Phone Records Doctors Talking Trash About Him While Under Anesthesia; He Sues and Wins $500,000

AssholeryKa-ching, ka-ching!  A man left the voice recorder on his phone on during his colonoscopy (i.e., butt exam) — and was completely shocked to learn what his medical team said about him while he was sedated — disgusting things that got the man half a million bucks in defamation and malpractice damages!  The Washington Post has the audio recordings.

“After five minutes of talking to you in pre-op, I wanted to punch you in the face and man you up a little bit,” his anesthesiologist, Dr. Tiffany Ingham, reportedly says in the recording.

When Ingham’s assistant points out a rash, the doctor tells her not to get “some syphilis on your arm or something,” before adding, “It’s probably tuberculosis in the penis, so you’ll be all right.”

The group also joked about the patient having Ebola.  KEEP READING

Diner Finds Alleged Fried Rat in His KFC Din-Din (PHOTOS)

SHAKEDOWN [KTLA.COM] — When Devorise Dixon opened his Kentucky Fried Chicken meal and bit into it, he found his ‘chicken’ had a tail. Naturally the first thing anyone would do is take pictures of it and put it on Facebook to get online attention (he took video of the meal, too), remarking about getting a lawyer (THOUSANDS have seen the alleged ‘fried rat’ photo online). He then took the alleged fried rat to the manager of KFC a couple of days later (not a good move) to complain.  But KFC says Devorise Dixon’s claim is a HOAX.

“As I bit into it I noticed that it was very hard and rubbery which made me look at it. As I looked down at it I noticed that it was was in a shape of a rat with a tail. It sent deep chills throughout my whole body! I’ve been feeling weird ever since. It’s time for a lawyer, be safe don’t eat fast food!”



Greedy San Francisco Landlords Are Burning Down Their Properties to Get Around Tenant Rent Control Law

Locals are posting signs all over San Francisco expressing their hate for “Techie Scum” infiltrating their city, driving rents skyhigh, causing record evictions by money-hungry landlords who cater to them by USING ARSON to get rid of low-rent tenants!


“San Francisco has laws in place like Rent Control and The Ellis Act that are supposed to protect renters from steep rent increases or evictions without just cause. Apparently, the way the greedy property owners are getting around that these days is arson.

Why continue to collect $963 per month from a tenant that has been in your run-down studio apartment for over two decades when you can get well over $2000? Over $2000 per month for a one room unit.

If you burn your building and remodel, you can get around The Ellis Act and Rent Control. You can also get a million dollars–or more.”

Man Burned by Dollar Store Turkey Pan Warns World

When El Cheapo Dan Harding removed the foil pan with a turkey in it from his hot oven, the flimsy foil pan he bought at a cheap dollar store folded and spilled scalding liquid on his toes, causing second-degree burns.

“When I reached in to pull the pan out, it buckled and the juice landed on my foot,” Harding said. “It had be the most excruciating pain I’ve gone through.”

Harding holds crap pan he bought at a dollar store and shows his bandaged foot with second degree burns! Shakedown lawsuit?
Harding holds crap pan he bought at a dollar store and shows his bandaged foot with second degree burns! Shakedown lawsuit?

“The self-described “tightwad” now sees the value in investing in a good quality turkey pan instead of using disposable ones in order to help his pocketbook and avoid dish-washing duty.”

Man Goes Batshit Crazy Over Being Charged $50 for a Lousy Hair Cut

Injustice ServedThis anti-hero had a right to flip-out and trash the hair shop over being charged $50 bucks for a hair cut!  That’s outrageous!  Any guy knows he can go to a barber and pay from $8-$16 dollars for a good hair cut.  Coppers say “Becker kicked a hole in the wall of the salon in over-priced hoity-toity Connecticut, and was rude to rude to staff and customers.  He then threw a candle display and a number of other items around the barbers before leaving.”


Alan Beckers Bad Hair Day

Shakedown Payday: Bus Drivers’ Teabagging Goes to Federal Court

A former mechanic for the Capital District Transportation Authority filed a federal lawsuit Thursday alleging his co-workers held him down and pressed their genitals into his head two years ago as part of a bizarre hazing ritual that took place on his last day at work for the authority.


Transportation Teabagging
Teabagging caused the mechanic to suffer “severe anxiety and depression” and “seek psychological counseling” as a result of what happened.

Play-Doh Offers Replacement on its Penis-Shaped Toy — Not a Shakedown Payday

“Our Christmas was ruined because of this!”

Ruined Our ChristmasPeople with their minds in the gutter see a Play-Doh “extruder” toy used for pushing the clay substance through (see what it does here) into shapes during play wasted no time getting on Facebook and Twitter to say it is shaped like an “adult sex toy” to damn and shame the venerable Play-Doh toy company, who claims innocence to such filthy accusations by people with penis revulsion issues.

Mother Jennifer Turner claims the little thing “ruined” the family’s Christmas (left).  Uh-huh.  I smell a shakedown “pain and suffering” payout in the works for the poor Turner family whose whole Christmas was ruined by a penis-shaped dough pusher.

Play Doh Plunger Looks Like Penis to Gutter Minded
Now does THAT look like a PENIS to you? Of course not! It’s all in your evil, gutter-mind thoughts!

BATSHIT CRAZY: Armored Vehicle, 24 Cops Sent to Collect Civil Judgment from Elderly Wisconsin Man

Crazy Cops
NOTE TO COPS: We are not the enemy!  Get it?  Your job is to “Protect and Serve” — This is NOT Iraq!  You are NOT at WAR with citizens in America!

Officials in the small town of Stettin, Wisconsin, reportedly sent 24 police officers and an armored vehicle to collect a civil judgment ($80,000) from a 75-year-old man and his wife (pictured below).  See photos of the armored vehicles here.

Old couple the cops and city officials are scared of.  Can we say: “What the Fuck?”

Man Wakes Up From Colonoscopy Wearing Pink Panties; Sues Assholes Who Humiliated Him

maninwomanspanties“When the plaintiff recovered from the effects of the anesthesia administered by defendants, he awoke to realize that while he was unconscious pink women’s underwear had been placed on his body. When the plaintiff initially presented for his colonoscopy he had not been wearing pink women’s underwear and at no time did the plaintiff voluntarily, knowingly or intentionally place the pink women’s underwear upon himself.”