Tag Archives: penis freaks

We Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

Angler-Hooked-Penis

strangebuttrue“At first the man thought he had just become tangled in some weeds, but when he looked down he noticed in horror that a fishing hook was tugging at the most sensitive part of his body, the Augsburger Allgemeine (AA) reports.” KEEP READING TRUE STORY


“A violent Hull criminal who drove “like a lunatic” lost his testicles when a tree branch pierced his windscreen and embedded itself in his groin.”

Violent Hull Criminal Lost His Nuts
LOST HIS NUTS

“Nicholas St Clair, 27, had sped off at 57mph – nearly twice the speed limit – in his Volkswagen Golf GTi after crashing into a Ford Mondeo near a pub in South Ferriby.

He then hit another car, a Seat Ibiza, travelling in the opposite direction, while attempting an overtake likened to a “a Formula One manoeuvre”, before ploughing into a lampost, which flipped the Golf.

A branch smashed through the windscreen and through the gaps in the steering wheel, embedding itself in St Clair’s groin.

St Clair, of Wellsted Street, west Hull, told officers: “I pulled it out and my testicles fell out.” He then passed out again and was taken to hospital.”

CRYBABIES: “People think these photos from the Olympics look a lot like pornography”

“Somebody please think of the children.”

Censoring Dick Bulges Olympics

Censoring Dick Bulges Olympics1
Penis-Freaks2NBC has been censoring Olympic swimmers dick bulges with the infamous ‘black bar’.  “Now the games look rather smutty,” writes Indy as the censoring makes the Olympians LOOK NAKED — and this is a threat to certain dick-fearing people with nudity issues.

Why are Americans always so uptight about Olympians in their tight spandex?  Other countries are not.  It’s only American purists who recoil in fear at the sight of a well-built woman or man in athlete garb.  Quit with the GUTTER-MIND thoughts and admire the Olympian’s bodies!  It’s OK to do so!  You just wish you looked as good as they do!  They bare their junk with pride and work hard to look that way to win the medals to make their country PROUD!

Also see: “NBC is Accidentally Censoring Male Olympic Divers’ Speedos.” AND “Olympic Divers Covered In Accidental Censor Bars Are Giving Us Lady Boners.”
BELOW: One dick-fearing emasculated fuckhead on Twitter is GLAD their dick bulges are blocked out:


Ancient Greece Olympics
“This picture from ancient Greece shows a winner at the Games receiving his prize of palm branches. He is also given wool ribbons to tie around his head, arms or legs.”

Did you know that in ancient Greece Olympians actually WERE NAKED for the games?  Yes indeed, the men of those days had no penis envy issues.  They did their Olympic games completely naked!

The Penis Obsessed See a Penis in Everything

Penis-Freaks2Our screwy dick-crazed world of the gutter-minded see a penis practically everywhere

MORE Penis Freak “Humor”

Penis Freak Humor

Student Who Stuck His Dick Out in High School Yearbook Photo Faces Life as a “Sex Offender” in PC Conspiracy to Ruin His Life

UPDATE: Playgirl magazine (features nude men showing their dicks for women to ogle) is after him.

“We’re trying to reach this kid to get him in Playgirl. We want to support him as this was a hilarious prank, and people are too tightly wound. Playgirl.com would like to have him pose naked and pay his legal bills.”


ApeshitPhoto of Yearbook Page — You Can’t Even See His Penis!  Ruin His Life Over This?  Despicable Injustice!

STUPID! Ruin a person's life over this? Outrageous!
SCHOOL: “While the small size of the photograph as published makes the details difficult to discern, the yearbook has been recalled so the school can make a minor but critical edit for the inappropriate content.”

Penis-Freaks2An 18-year-old’s prank, he claims he was dared into doing by fellow students, is under the gun by whackos of the world for showing his penis in a year book photo (which can’t be seen). They want to ruin the youngster’s life by having the law deem him as a Injustice-Served“sex offender” by throwing him in jail and forcing him to register as a sex offender wherever he goes for the rest of his life.  He was jailed on the night of his senior prom with 69 counts of indecent exposure, a class 1 misdemeanor, and a class 4 felony.  OUTRAGEOUS!

But his fellow students say this hoopla perpetrated by the cops and school is bullshit and say it’s unfair to ruin the kid’s life over a foolish school prank that you can’t even see Another example of politically correct (PC) morons using the law in a conspiracy to ruin someone’s life.  They have set up a petition to free him.

CONSPIRACY: You Can’t Even SEE His Penis in this Blown-Up Year Book Photo!

Hunter Osborn Exposure
WITCH HUNT TO RUIN A KID’S LIFE

Crazy Meth Freak Wife Bites Husband’s Penis Off

“She told police that she had spent many hours sharpening her teeth with nail file over the last week, in order to make the castration easier.”

“The accused was sitting on a couch, smoking crystal meth with her face and clothes full of blood. She immediately confessed to castrating her husband, screaming “I bit his dick off!” over and over again, and bragging about her crime.”
“The accused was sitting on a couch, smoking crystal meth with her face and clothes full of blood. She immediately confessed to castrating her husband, screaming “I bit his dick off!” over and over again, and bragging about her crime.”

Emasculated in Florida

“Jesus Ramon Sanchez, from the Little Havana neighborhood in Miami, was allegedly attempting to engage in sexual intercourse with a 4-year old male pit bull, when the dog defended itself by tearing off the man’s genitals with its teeth.”

Emasculated in Florida

Housewife Flipped Out Over a Pork Loin That Looked Like a Severed Penis to Her

Mugshot MascaraFriends and family were called to console a hysterical housewife who unwittingly bought a pork tenderloin that resembled a penis. When she discovered what she had purchased upon returning home from the market, she became embarrassed and worried about damage to her upstanding image in the community for having purchased such “a filthy and despicable thing.”

“It’s really quite rude. The color certainly helps. It’s pretty realistic.”

pork-joint-looks-like-penis
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! IT’S ONLY A FUCKEN PORK ROAST! WTF?  GET LAID MORE!  SHEESH!

WTF? Penis Car Rims!

Penis-Freaks2Our nation’s constant worship and adoration of the almighty penis knows no bounds as seen in this ad selling penis tire rims.
Penis-Rims

WHY are people in America so fascinated with THE PENIS?  WHY!

PENIS WORSHIP PENIS WORSHIP Stink Slut

IS THE ADORATION OF THE PHALLUS SATANIC?

Adoration of Phallus

Phallic Demon Seed Worship of the Satanic Adoration of the Phallus (an ADULT, NSFW Satanist site) writes:

Very Sick Satanic Site“The sacred link between Phallus and the world is kept true through the passing of Seed from man to man. This is the Truth and the Sacred Way that created all things and, through the worship by man of Phallus, sustains all things. Giving worship and pleasure to Phallus is the Cockworshiper’s responsibility and Path. Taking and worshiping Seed is the Cockworshiper’s covenant of faith and commitment to the coming world, a world in which Phallus is omnipresent in life and Cock is worshiped freely and without censure. A world in which all men give themselves not to war and hate but to worship and constant adoration…”

Children Cry Over Mall’s “Obscene” Penis Light Display

CrybabiesA Mall has decided to sue a Christmas Light company over its light display — that looks like a giant lighted penis.

Awww!  Sour grapes!  And what’s wrong with having a lighted penis over the Mall?  People in America are so uptight over the wonder organ that provides such inestimable pleasure!  They should make it FLASH with red whore lights!  Yet another example of America’s never-ending fascination for the almighty penis… even during this time of Holy Baby Jesus!

“Customers came running up to us almost in tears,” Tom Downey, manager for the mall told CBS News. “They were confused and some of the children were crying after what they had seen. In 36 years of running malls and department stores, I have never witnessed anything like this. That company should be ashamed of themselves.”

Shut-UpOH BALONEY, Tom! “Crying children”? Seriously? You’re just hoping for a big shakedown windfall! SHUT UP!

Dollar Store Chocolate Santa Has Nothing to do With Christmas

Penis-Freaks2It appears to have everything to do with America’s Canada’s never-ending fascination for DICKS! [Story on CityNews.ca]

IT JUST NEVER ENDS!

chocolatesanta