“As 12 million Americans “know,” the United States government is run by lizard people (or, to be scientifically accurate, reptilians). But they never said which members of the government are the reptilians. Here they are.“
“Our planet has been invaded by a species of alien similar to lizards, only smarter. They kill our most important people and wear their skins as disguises. Some of our most famous celebrities and politicians are actually these reptile creatures. They are here to destroy our world from within. Here is a collection of reptiles I have identified.”
“I saw this fat lady taking a dump in the middle of the freeway. I was driving by and got off one shot. She yelled at me to ‘mind my own business!’ but, when you take a crap in broad daylight, it unfortunately becomes everybody’s business.”
Harlem hate preacher James Manning says “fags” can’t foreclose on his church until they birth babies “through their anus.” Details here.
“This is the lord’s house! This ain’t no damn bathhouse! It ain’t no fag house! And before you can ever own this property – hook or crook – men who are fags with testicles will be carrying babies in their testicles and giving birth to them through their anus. That’s how impossible it is for you to get this house. When you start carrying a baby in your bags and birthing that baby through your ass, THEN you can own this house! But until I see you pull a baby out your ass, you ain’t gonna pull this church out from underneath us. And boom shaka-laka goes right there! And all you fags can go to hell! I’m James David Manning, everybody. I’m the LORD’S servant!”
Disturbing news: the Forest Floor Hair Comb, a delightful thing for nature buffs, has sold out on Etsy. Sorry to bring you the disappointing news, but you could ask its forest-fetish creator to make more!