And then she threw her head back. Horked. And spat on my foot. A BIG, MUCOUSY glob of spit.
I was jolted out of my snowy paradise by the sound of a raspy-voiced woman yelling over the loudspeaker. “I SAID TACOS, YOU DUMB BITCH!” was the first thing I heard upon re-entering the kitchen. “I KNOW YOU FUCKING HAVE THEM! DUMB BITCH!”
After one last attempt to apologize and offer her anything but a taco, shit got real: “SHUT THE FUCKING WINDOW, YOU FUCKING CUNT,” she screamed at me while taking off her seat-belt. “SHUT THE FUCKING WINDOW SO I CAN BREAK IT, PULL YOUR FUCKING HEAD THROUGH AND DECAPITATE YOU! I WANT MY DAMN TACOS!”
Food whacks take 14 photos of every fattening thing they could think of (including MAYONNAISE) layered on a pizza and bake the concoction. Let us PRAY they ate every bite and had to have their stomachs pumped.
The Internet goes nuts over a New York Times recipe saying to add green peas to guacamole. Consumerist writes, “No, New York Times, No One Wants To Put Peas In Their Guacamole.” See Salon’s collective of damning tweets here. See more disgusted tweets on Twitter under hastag #NYTrecipes.
TRUST YOU? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!
Add green peas to your guacamole. Trust us. http://t.co/7imMY9c2ph pic.twitter.com/oeOMt2qgmh
Entitled ‘Degrado Italo-Americano’ (Italian-American decline), a Facebook page created by indignant Italians invites members to share their experiences of the most bizarre imitations of Italian recipes around the world. Since the page was created in December 2014 it has attracted almost 10,000 likes, hundreds of photos and well over a thousand comments.
“Why can’t I eat a hot dog, a hamburger and potato chips all together?”
Asked obese 9-year-old little Suzy. And the idea from the depths of Hell was born… “The Most American Thickburger”
Devised by fuckers who want to kill you for profit, it’s a beef patty, a split hot dog and a layer of thick kettle-cooked potato chips in a hamburger bun. They also throw on ketchup, mustard, tomato, red onion, pickles and American cheese for good measure. The burger will cost your waistline 1,030 calories and a day’s worth of artery-clogging fat.” [Review]
HINT TO CLUELESS ADVERTISERS WHO THINK WE ARE STUPID:
You Won’t Have a Figure Like THIS GIRL if You Eat THAT!
The 1/3 lb. Most American Thickburger (417g)
Calories – 1030 (from Fat – 570)
Fat – 64g (Saturated Fat – 23g)
Sodium – 2350mg
Carbs – 70g (Sugar – 16g)
Protein – 38g
PULL OFF AND THROW AWAY THE HOT DOG, HAMBURGER PATTY AND CHIPS AND YOU WON’T DIE.
How you’re being LIED TO by those so-called health food alternative protein bars. One is compared to a Snickers candy bar and the so-called unhealthy Snickers bar turns out to be better for you than the health bar! No shit! Watch fitness expert Dan Peterson, who is one of Jerry Springer’s security guards, show you what to avoid buying at the health food store.
Are you a Jerry Springer fan? If so, would you like to see Dan Peterson, his security employee, appear SHIRTLESS on Jerry’s shows? Click here to agree! And check out Facebook’s #YouKnowYouWatch
“Stuffed Sheep’s Lungs” or “Haggis” — This Scottish dish has been banned in the U.S. since 1971 because of its key ingredient, sheep’s lungs, which the FDA says is unsafe to eat. The concoction pictured is a mixture of sheep heart, sheep liver, sheep lungs, onion, oatmeal, mutton fat and various spices all stuffed into a sheep’s stomach.
[Haggis is a high-fat food: 2/3 of its calories come from fat. Seven ounces of Haggis has roughly 620 calories. That’s 44 grams of fat, 40 grams of carbs and 22 grams of protein. And, believe it or not, a politician tried to get this food un-banned claiming it would cure America’s obesity problem! See more banned foods in the U.S. here.]
THESE MEN ARE SICK & INSANE!
WATCH THEM KILL A GIRL!
No wonder there’s an obesity/diabetes crisis! Is this a conspiracy to KILL? Look at all that hamburga people are buying at the supermarket — HUGE LOGS OF IT! It’s like the bottom-feeders of the world WANT a coronary!
Don’t you remember the PINK SLIME CRISIS?
Everyone is eating this garbage like mad: Making Hamburger Helper out of it, Meatloaf, Tacos and many more quick, greasy recipes that make them morbidly obese, causing Diabetes to set in! HOW DARE THEY VIOLATE ONE OF THE “7 DEADLY SINS” — GLUTTONY! Read about the sin and evils of gluttony here!
[On the MASSIVE MEATLOG VIDEO ABOVE: Girl eats a massive corndog/meatlog on a stick that contains bacon and BACON GREASE, containing an estimated 5,826 calories and 747g of fat.]
A comprehensive study of frozen shrimp by Consumer Reports has revealed disgusting facts about the popular shellfish. Shrimp are wildly popular in the U.S., as ABC reports that the average American consumes as much as four pounds of shrimp every year.