Oh God does that ever feel good having your ass (pronounced “ACE”) probed by the good ole stinky finger! Never could understand why people are so terrified of rectal exams — especially of the insertion of the wondrous Proctoscope that has a CAMERA on it so you can see the inside of your own ACE during your rectal exam! How fabulous science is, eh? Don’t know about you, but I look forward to my rectal exam so much so that I count down the days on my calendar! And the DOUCHE they ask you to do before your visit… well, it’s a pleasant added bonus! Oh God, I’m so envious of that inmate getting his prostate fingered. Have YOU ever fingered your ACE? Did you know that massaging the prostate gland inside your ACE can cause exciting orgasms? Yes, it’s the MALE G-SPOT! In jail, not only do you get three square meals a day, you get your ACE fingered as well! Who could ask for more of a pleasant two-week vacation?
