A person concerned about wildlife posted this textbook classic passive-aggressive question: “Why Doesn’t the Squirrel In My Backyard Like Me?” on the bitchy gay forum.
Here is someone’s answer:
“It doesn’t like you because it senses your evil, controlling toxic personality and is fearful of it. Animals are aware of human emotions. They have the uncanny knack for sensing someone who is hostile to them and they flee in fear. It has obviously heard you screaming and yelling in your house, for the squirrel lives near your home. It hates you because it thinks you are an untrustworthy human who may do it harm! Stop being a screaming harpie in your home. Stop shouting accusations at people caused by your insecurity. Stop being a total asshole cunt. And for God’s sake, when you’re getting your ass fucked, stop being so loud about it. The animals are appalled by your mimicking the sound you heard of your mother getting fucked by your father: her moaning, her shouting, her sounding like she’s being murdered when she got fucked. YOUR FATHER’S DICK WASN’T THAT BIG, mmmmmkay? Now get a life, get a J-O-B and quit worrying about wildlife. —Sigmund Freud.”