In “Behind Closed Ovens,” vengeful restaurant employees write of their encounters with assholes who mistreat them and detail their revenge on them. Fun reading.
Her: “BRING. ME. YOUR. MANAGER. YOU. FUCKING. LITTLE. IDIOT.”
And then she threw her head back. Horked. And spat on my foot. A BIG, MUCOUSY glob of spit.
I was jolted out of my snowy paradise by the sound of a raspy-voiced woman yelling over the loudspeaker. “I SAID TACOS, YOU DUMB BITCH!” was the first thing I heard upon re-entering the kitchen. “I KNOW YOU FUCKING HAVE THEM! DUMB BITCH!”
After one last attempt to apologize and offer her anything but a taco, shit got real: “SHUT THE FUCKING WINDOW, YOU FUCKING CUNT,” she screamed at me while taking off her seat-belt. “SHUT THE FUCKING WINDOW SO I CAN BREAK IT, PULL YOUR FUCKING HEAD THROUGH AND DECAPITATE YOU! I WANT MY DAMN TACOS!”
Food whacks take 14 photos of every fattening thing they could think of (including MAYONNAISE) layered on a pizza and bake the concoction. Let us PRAY they ate every bite and had to have their stomachs pumped.
Devised by fuckers who want to kill you for profit, it’s a beef patty, a split hot dog and a layer of thick kettle-cooked potato chips in a hamburger bun. They also throw on ketchup, mustard, tomato, red onion, pickles and American cheese for good measure. The burger will cost your waistline 1,030 calories and a 
How you’re being LIED TO by those so-called health food alternative protein bars. One is compared to a Snickers candy bar and the so-called unhealthy Snickers bar turns out to be better for you than the health bar! No shit! Watch fitness expert Dan Peterson, who is one of Jerry Springer’s security guards, show you what to avoid buying at the health food store.
