Tag Archives: LOL

“Why Doesn’t the Squirrel In My Backyard Like Me?”

soldier_squirrel

A person concerned about wildlife posted this textbook classic passive-aggressive question: “Why Doesn’t the Squirrel In My Backyard Like Me?” on the bitchy gay forum.

:-) Here is someone’s answer:

“It doesn’t like you because it senses your evil, controlling toxic personality and is fearful of it. Animals are aware of human emotions. They have the uncanny knack for sensing someone who is hostile to them and they flee in fear. It has obviously heard you screaming and yelling in your house, for the squirrel lives near your home. It hates you because it thinks you are an untrustworthy human who may do it harm! Stop being a screaming harpie in your home. Stop shouting accusations at people caused by your insecurity. Stop being a total asshole cunt. And for God’s sake, when you’re getting your ass fucked, stop being so loud about it. The animals are appalled by your mimicking the sound you heard of your mother getting fucked by your father: her moaning, her shouting, her sounding like she’s being murdered when she got fucked. YOUR FATHER’S DICK WASN’T THAT BIG, mmmmmkay? Now get a life, get a J-O-B and quit worrying about wildlife. —Sigmund Freud.”

“Upsetting” Vintage Recipe Cards

Soaking Fat
Our Food Expert highly recommends these two wondrous recipe choices from the weird days of “retro recipes.”

HostMummy2Kraft boxed Mac ‘N Cheese, which is always generously given out at your local food bank, apparently has many UNUSUAL uses.  Here we have a rare “Mac Pizza” made of the stuff — yeah, the CRUST is the Mac ‘N Cheese, smothered with greasy, cheesy pizza topping. sure to add more FAT around your middle like our “Food Expert” exercising his pictured above.  There are many more “upsetting vintage recipes” on VintageRecipeCards.com that may amuse thee.

INGENIOUS IDEA FROM HELL:  PIZZA CRUST MADE OF BOXED MAC ‘N CHEESE.  ITALY IS FURIOUS OVER THE AMERICANIZATION OF PIZZA IN THIS MOST FOUL WAY.

macpizza
Curious? See this Cooks.com recipe for this Mac ‘N Cheese crust pizza. OR you might like this EASY Mac Pizza recipe using TWO BOXES, along with Prego sauce!

A guy actually had the nerve to make this “Summer Salad Pie” (see all the steps in photos here) who commented:

“It’s pretty bizarre. Not horrible, just really weird.”

Summer Salad Pie

Bernie Sanders Won Debate Stardom

“The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails!”

Let us hope the media got the damn message!

Hillary claimed “the email scandal” is a conspiracy: “It is a partisan vehicle, as admitted by the House Republican Majority Leader, Mr. McCathy, to drive down my poll numbers. Big surprise!” Mrs. Clinton complained. “But ‘I am still standing.” Mrs. Clinton further said the committee has spent $4.5 million of taxpayer money in her email scandal investigation. [More on the conspiracy in this link]