DON’T EAT THIS GARBAGE
Annoying attention-whoring foodie alleged chefs on the Internet keep coming up with what they think are amazing food creations, such as the bunch of GARBAGE pictured above: a turkey with a nasty octopus stuffed in it, with crab’s legs stuck into the sides of the turkey and nasty greasy salty bacon covering the mess. It was created by evil Rusty Eulberg, a database administrator from Lubbock, Texas. He calls it the “Chturkey” — we call it “GARBAGE.” In more sensible days, gross things like octopus and crab’s legs were discarded by cooks and butchers as being nasty, inedible things — similar to throwing out fish heads, beef testicles, pig’s head, etc. But not in these weird days when mentally challenged so-called “chefs” save the garbage and use it in their silly food creation competitions for attention on the Internet. STOP TRYING TO CHANGE TRADITION, just shove a fucking turkey in the oven and don’t get fancy!
“I wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours… we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken,” boasted Eulberg.