Why do all these big shot fishin’ “sportsmen” always take pitchers boasting of their huge fish-catch for the news people and then the dern fools throw the fish back in the river after tryin’ to ketch it for hours? Don’t make no sense to me, nor maw and the kids! Fish like ‘at should be et — not thrown back in! It’s backwards, I tell ya, backwards like everything else goin’ on in this here upside down world!
WTF? If I done ever caught me a big ass 24 pound fish like ‘at you better believe I’d be taking that grub home to maw for supper! Like why even bother to fish at all if ya ain’t gonna eat yer catch? Don’t make no sense to me nor maw and the kids, along with uncle Joe Bob and aunt Peggy Lou! We’d have that gosh dern steelhead trout gutted and descaled quicker than skinnin’ a possum! Why, with a 24 pounder steelhead on the coals, our whole clan could come over for supper and have us a good ole time!
Boy, oh, boy, what a mighty upside-down world this be anymore — got me and maw shakin’ our heads every day. I be cleanin’ my gun daily waitin’ fer some city slicker varmit to come a tryin’ to kill us… for thar be too many locos out there actin’ all crazy like dis afoot to harm maw and the kids when Ima out skeet shootin’.